Creating a Special Mother's Day

The creation of Mother’s day has an interesting history in the United States and this year marks the 100th celebration.  The initiative to have an official Mother’s Day was driven by Anna Reeves Jarvis who in the 1900s spearheaded a holiday to celebrate the sacrifices mother’s make for their children.  She herself never had children but her goal was for the holiday to be a celebration between families, mother’s and their children.  

A few years after Mother’s Day became a holiday Anna Jarvis had noticed the increase in commercialism associated with Mother’s day.  She was so upset by this that she started a campaign to get it removed from the calendar because she felt Mother’s Day had lost its purpose.  She said, “To have Mother’s Day the burdensome, wasteful, expensive gift day that … other special days have become, is not our pleasure. If the American people are not willing to protect Mother’s Day from the hordes of money schemers that would overwhelm it with their schemes, then we shall cease having a Mother’s Day—and we know how.”   As of 2017 the National Retail Federation list’s Mother’s Day as one of the top consumer spending holiday’s of the year, with spending close to $200.

As a therapist, I often spend a lot of time talking to clients about connection and relationship with important people in their life.  In our culture, we are often driven to buy things to let people know we care about them.  However, when you think of your favorite memories they aren’t about when you got new sneakers or a purse.  Although you appreciate those things, favorite memories tend to be moments that we laughed or had an enjoyable experience with someone.   

So consider Mother’s Day a reason to promote connection and relationship with a parent / caregiver / someone who made a sacrifice for you or an imprint on your life in a positive way.  There are many different way’s we can offer to show appreciation to the mom in our life without spending a lot of money.  Here is a list of ideas that promote connecting and building our relationship without spending a lot of money.​

1. Washing mom’s car then taking her out to the park and push her on the swing.  This is my favorite.​
2. Instead of buying flowers, buy seeds and help plant a garden or a put the seeds in a pot.  It’s always fun to watch the plants grow and young kids often look forward to taking care of them.  
3. Making a heartfelt card is not just for the kids, teenagers and adults can do that too. 
4. Putting together a slide show of pictures from the last 3 months or year.
5. Doing something fun sign up to walk/run a race together, indoor rock climbing, or kayaking for the active mom.
6. Give mom a foot or shoulder massage.
7. Spend time together as a family, go to the beach or park and play frisbee, kickball, or fly a kite. 
8. Bringing mom her coffee or tea in or out of the bed.  One of my favorite memories is my son at the age of 4 came into my bedroom and said today we are celebrating mommies day.  All by himself, put together a tray with a granola bar, bread and butter, tea, and blueberries.  We sat and ate together making crumbs, sharing breakfast and giggling.
9. Organize a daytime babysitter so mom can get sometime to herself and recharge.  Okay this is not relationship building, but it does help mom to recharge and connect when she can take care of herself.
10. Enjoying something to eat together (i.e., chocolate, or a favorite baked treat).
11. Go with mom to a trial class for kickboxing, pilates, or yoga.  Maybe something new that mom wanted to try or is already doing.
12. ​Create a coupon book for chores.
13. Non clutter gift’s like an audible subscription and kindle unlimited.  Then read together.

The best most memorable moments are the ones that you spend together; what kind of memory will you make this year?